Bloodstained Knots and Threadbare Hearts
by Kiyoshi'sGirl64
Summary: The knots in the fabric of their lives were formed by a natural connection, a wicked betrayal and an eternal vow in blood. Hiei/Toya/Kurama love triangle.
1. Opening Author Note

So, Kiyoshi and I are back. I will try to keep this brief. In reality you can skip most of it, the exception being the paragraph starting "Next, perhaps the author's note of the greatest importance." That one, I beg you (on my hands and knees) to read. It's the third paragraph after this one if you intend to skip everything else.

The idea for 'Bloodstained Knots and Threadbare Hearts' came from me reading the story 'Last, But Not Least' by 1010'Jin at around two o'clock in the morning and then being unbelievably bored the next day. This story is far different from 1010'Jin's (although you should read that one too); I was simply inspired by the pairing. I was also reading some other stories in which the idea of mating was presented, and that stuck with me, becoming a more central theme in this story than I thought it would be. Other than those fics, I was also listening to music as I wrote this, the primary songs being 'All I Ever Wanted' (Amick Byram), 'Can't Stop the Rain' (Cascada), 'Broken Candy' (Sawyer Brown), 'I'll Be True to You' (Oakridge Boys), 'Ships That Don't Come In' (Joe Diffie), and 'The Soft Goodbye' (Celtic Woman). Yeah, I know that's a lot, but this story took a while to write and while there were others on the playlist, those were the only ones I ever really heard, perhaps because they fit the mood of the story. Odd. At any rate, if you recognize more than one of the songs (or even the artists) you can color me impressed. And if you do recognize the songs, you'll probably realize that this is not precisely a happy fic.

Which leads me to the disclaimers. It isn't really all that happy. Sort of, but not really for the most part (hence the reason it's in the 'hurt/comfort' category. It has been placed there more for the hurt than the comfort). Also, I obviously don't own YuYu Hakusho. Also, if you don't like guy/guy pairings, just click the little back button at the top of the screen, because I don't appreciate flames (excluding the flickering ones that can burn you if you try to touch them). Also, something about the mood of this fic seems to have made my style a bit different than normal, so it might sound a little awkward at times. Please try and forgive me for that. Finally, I would say this fic is probably not for Kurama fangirls.

Next, perhaps the author's note of the greatest importance: Do not get me wrong. I do not think Kurama is a fool, nor am I trying to portray him as such. The point I am trying to make is more that the heart sometimes has more control than the mind, and not even cool, logical Kurama is immune to that. Any other seemingly OOC moments I feel confident I can explain away if you have a question in a review (just don't quote me on that, because I'm not going to promise everyone is perfectly in character). But if any of you say I'm portraying Kurama as being stupid, I am going to simply ignore your message entirely, regardless of whether or not that is the only thing you are commenting on. So don't do it.

Lastly, this story is posted in multiple chapters to break up the huge amount of text. It is, in reality, meant to be a oneshot. I briefly considered posting the chapters at different times, but then decided that the waiting would add an element of suspense to the story that was not appropriate. Breaking it up into chapters posted separately would disrupt the flow of the story, taking something away from it. This story was written as a oneshot, and I would suggest reading it as such.

Now that I've finished with all my chatter, I apologize for wasting your precious time. You won't hear from me again until the very end of the fic.

Kiyoshi: that was brief?

Me: shut up. There was a lot that needed to be said. Well, on with the story then. Please review!

KG64 and Kiyoshi himself


	2. Part One

Toya regarded the man before him cautiously, careful not to let his red-haired instructor catch him staring yet again. That had already happened far too many times for his liking, and he had an inkling that Kurama already knew—or at the very least suspected—that the reason for his staring had nothing to do with training.

Not that Toya particularly cared what Kurama thought. Kurama was an instructor, a friend, nothing more. While Toya would not have objected to a relationship with the attractive fox demon before him now, it would always be second best. But the best thing was so far out of his reach it was foolish to even think about it.

Toya caught himself staring at Kurama once more, as always admiring the defined muscles of his arms, the subtle yet decisive movements of his attacks, the cold, uncompromising expression that so completely hid whatever it was he was really thinking. Toya couldn't pretend the man currently standing before him was not attractive; Kurama was beautiful, his looks left nothing to be desired. Yet… Toya did desire something else. Someone else.

He sighed. Was it wrong to prepare for—to fight in—a war in which the one you loved would be fighting on one of the opposing sides?

* * *

><p>Kurama watched Toya surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye. The Ice Master was watching him once again, as always with his eyes guarded and conflicted. Suddenly, as though feeling Kurama's eyes on him, he turned away and started a practice fight with Suzuki.<p>

Kurama laughed to himself. Toya thought he hid it so well. Kurama had been debating for close to a month what to do about the other demon. He wanted the secretive, slightly moody, introverted Ice Master for himself. However, he highly doubted Yomi would appreciate romantic relations occurring within what Kurama was sure he considered his special forces group. Particularly if the relationship involved the general. And it wasn't as though Kurama could pretend there had never been anything between him and Yomi. Nothing serious, maybe. But nothing and nothing serious were two completely different things.

He frowned to himself then realized how little he actually cared what Yomi thought. Yomi was simply a strong ally, a good way to be guaranteed a place in the upcoming war. It had been a millennium since their partnership—both in business and in romance, if you could call it that—had ended. And it had ended on Kurama's terms. He had no intention of allowing Yomi to believe that he could control every aspect of Kurama's life. Perhaps doing as he wished as far as Toya was concerned would send Yomi the appropriate message. Not to mention the fact that it would make Kurama happy.

He shrugged and called to the group, "Okay, that's enough for today. Go inside and shower." As the other men turned to go back up to the temple, Kurama, being uncharacteristically impulsive, added, "Toya, a moment alone, if you please."

Jin and Suzuki glanced at one another, aware of the tension floating between Toya and Kurama. More aware, perhaps, than Toya and Kurama themselves. Then Suzuki shrugged and said, "Might make our lives easier."

"Or harder," Shishiwakamaru muttered walking past them, "If Kurama isn't pleased with how this goes."

Jin and Suzuki stared after him. Then Jin said, "It would appear tha' our poor Toya is the only one who doesn't know what's about to happen."

Suzuki laughed and said, "You're assuming Chu and Rinku are smarter than we give them credit for."

Jin shrugged, grinning, "All th' same. Ah don' know why Shishi needs t' be so pessimistic all da time. Ah think this can only be a good thing."

Suzuki grabbed his arm and dragged him away, replying, "So let's go away so they can get started with their _good thing_."

* * *

><p>Toya held back from following the others, watching Kurama, fearing the fox was about to berate him for his inattentiveness. Kurama was smart; Toya knew Kurama had noticed his inability to pay attention. "Is something wrong, Kurama?" he asked, sounding far less hesitant than he felt.<p>

Kurama considered Toya thoughtfully for several seconds before saying, "I'm not sure, Toya. Do you think there is a problem?"

Toya wasn't sure what Kurama's angle was; he didn't want to say anything that might compromise himself if Kurama didn't know how much he was attracted—physically, at least—to the man before him. "No. Why would there be?"

Kurama shrugged. "I don't know," he replied as he sauntered—that was the only way Toya could think to describe the seemingly provocative manner in which Kurama now approached him—toward Toya. Then Toya froze, stunned, as Kurama stopped, standing much closer to him than he was expecting. He brushed the darker strands of hair from Toya's face with the backs of his fingers. Toya's breath caught in his throat, and he found himself still unable to move. Once again Kurama asked, "Do you think there is a problem?"

Toya smiled. Perhaps the best thing was out of his reach, but Kurama was not. He was somehow able to effectively control his breathing, enough that even Kurama didn't notice his surprise. He looked at the man who was a few meager inches taller than him and said, "No problem, Kurama. Far from it."

Kurama smiled. "Good." And without another word he turned and headed back inside.

Toya remained frozen in place, uncertain yet thrilled about what had happened. Before Kurama approached him, he hadn't had the slightest idea that the attraction he felt to Kurama might be returned. And now that it was apparent Kurama felt something toward him, Toya figured that, his preferred demon being beyond his reach both physically and emotionally, he could be happy with Kurama. Content, at the very least.

He took a deep breath, smiled to himself and followed the man he knew would soon become his lover.

* * *

><p>Hiei calmly fixed his headband back in place. "Well?" Mukuro asked, walking up behind him.<p>

Hiei groaned inwardly. At the moment, the last thing he wanted to do was talk with Mukuro. He felt it truly unfortunate that he couldn't switch sides now, and throw his lot in with Yomi. He wouldn't have to deal with this woman and he could still be guaranteed a powerful position in whatever new government found itself ruling the demon plane. And there were other considerations to be made… However, people were doubtful when you changed sides when on the brink of war. His motives would always fall under suspicion, and that kind of reputation was not what Hiei wanted at the moment.

But he just turned, ignoring Mukuro's attempt at a stealthy approach, and said, "Nothing new. Kurama still has his training program under wraps, so I couldn't tell you how quickly his pupils are progressing. Although, knowing Kurama and based on how pleased Yomi is, the program is going well."

"Very well," Mukuro said. "Raizen and Yusuke?"

"Raizen is very, very close to death. Yusuke is as headstrong and obstinate as ever, improving more quickly than I would have expected, most likely due to that stubborn desire he has to beat Raizen." Hiei's answer was mechanical; he just wanted to go back to his quarters and dwell on what may have happened on Kurama's training grounds.

"Thank you, Hiei. You are dismissed."

Hiei nodded his farewell and left the room. As he strode down the halls of Mukuro's palace back to his rooms, Hiei thought over what he had felt. While he couldn't clearly see anything due to the talismans Kurama had obviously placed around Genkai's temple, he could tell something was off. Knowing where Kurama was helped, but he couldn't actually see anything. He could sense a distinct change in the atmosphere however, one that was leaking past the talismans.

Unfortunately, he was getting the impression that it had nothing to do with anything that would interest Mukuro.

Hiei collapsed flat on his back on his bed, wondering what could possibly be happening, and if it might involve the other considerations that he must take into account before making any rash decisions.

* * *

><p>Kurama slipped a piece of paper into Toya's hand as Toya passed him on the way to get seconds at dinner. Kurama smiled to himself. Something about the Ice Master set him on edge and set him at ease at the same time. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, but he found it enticing, intoxicating even.<p>

Toya stood getting food for a bit longer than could be considered normal. Kurama knew he was reading the note. The words he had scrawled hastily. _My house tonight?_ He thought he knew what Toya's answer would be, but when the man turned around, he looked troubled. He sat down, ate a few bites, then suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room. "Wha' was tha' about?" Jin asked mildly, floating a few inches above his seat.

Kurama and the others shrugged, but the look Jin and Suzuki shared said they both knew exactly what it was about. Toya returned a few minutes later, dropping a note from his pocket as he passed Kurama. When Kurama read it after the meal had finished, he was disappointed. _I can't. I'm not ready for that, Kurama. I'm not even sure I want this._

Kurama could read in the handwriting—which was slightly neater than normal—that Toya was nervous. He let out a low chuckle and headed for Toya's room. After knocking on the door, it was nearly a minute before Toya answered. "Kurama?" he asked quietly.

"Can I come in?" Kurama asked.

Toya hesitated momentarily, but then he nodded, stepping aside to let Kurama pass. "Did you need something?" he asked.

"Why didn't you want to come over tonight?" Kurama asked, keeping his voice even. He refused to look anywhere but the open window, fearful that he wouldn't be able to keep the hurt of Toya's rejection out of his eyes.

"I'm just not ready," Toya answered, repeating what he had already said once in the note.

Kurama turned on him. "We don't need to do anything you're not ready for, Toya. I just thought it might be nice to have some time alone, without those idiots gawking at us every second."

Toya smiled. Pressing his lips together to prevent Kurama from seeing the true strength of his happiness, he nodded. "But I don't want to leave together."

Kurama nodded. "I understand. I'll leave now."

"You never leave this early," Toya objected in confusion.

Kurama raised a single eyebrow and said, "The sooner I leave, the sooner you can follow."

Toya waited nearly an hour before leaving the temple. He didn't tell anyone he was leaving, but neither did he make his departure a secret. "Where ya goin'?" Jin asked as he arrived at the door. The wind demon had been lying in wait, curious to know what had caused Kurama to leave so early.

Toya just shrugged. "Going to meet a friend," he said as nonchalantly as he could manage.

"A romantic rendezvous, perhaps?" Jin asked jokingly.

Toya rolled his eyes. "You could call it that, I suppose." And then he was gone, leaving Jin stunned that Toya would admit to that much.

A while later, Kurama welcomed him inside, revealing the impeccably clean apartment Kurama had moved into upon deciding it would make it easier to conceal his life from his mother if they lived in separate locales. As he was given the tour, Toya took heart in the fact that Kurama obviously had nothing dishonorable on his mind. Well, he had no intention of acting on whatever dishonorable thoughts he may have been having. Once he was certain of this, Toya took Kurama's hand in his own, and continued his night in the kind of bliss one only feels when one feels _wanted_.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Hiei couldn't get rid of the feeling that he needed to know what was happening in Kurama's training program. But he wanted to know for personal reasons, not for any reason Mukuro would possibly have him investigating.<p>

So he ripped off the headband and let his mind focus in on the fox demon, who should have been alone in his house by now. Except, he wasn't alone. He had someone else with him.

And the fact that Toya was now gripping Kurama's hand, a small smile on his face, and the fact that Kurama looked more pleased than Hiei had ever seen him… the two things combined made Hiei jealous. Jealous and angry.

He couldn't believe Kurama would go behind his back like this. All Hiei knew for sure was that, if things continued as it appeared they would, there would be hell for someone to pay. He just wasn't sure who it was going to be at the moment.

* * *

><p>Even as Hiei watched, Toya and Kurama sat back on Kurama's couch to watch a movie. Kurama was pleased, happy that Toya was at least giving him a chance, as uncertain as he was about the whole thing. Kurama could only assume that the younger man was only now admitting that his sexuality might not be what he had always thought. Kurama could only think of one other reason why Toya might spend so much time watching him but be so wary of pursuing a real relationship. But Kurama pushed the idea that Toya might have feelings for someone else out of his mind. He settled onto the couch, content just to spend time with the other man, especially when Toya leaned up against Kurama and allowed Kurama to play with his short hair.<p>

"You should grow your hair out, Toya," he found himself noting.

"Why?" Toya asked. He had tried it once, and it had bothered him beyond all reason.

Kurama shrugged. "I think it would look good. Sometimes it's nice to have a change."

Toya shook his head. "It bewilders me how you put up with all that hair. It would drive me mad."

Kurama chuckled and continued stroking the other demon's hair, but he couldn't quite make himself return his attention to the movie. Somehow, Toya was managing to turn him on by saying nothing at all. It had been years since he had felt this kind of desire. The thing was, it had long since gone past the point where he just wanted to spend a night or two with Toya and be done with it.

That's all it had been during the Dark Tournament, but something had happened in the few months he had spent training with the other demon. A respect for his abilities. A longing to erase the pain that seemed to lurk just beneath the surface of his always composed face. A desire to solve the mysteries that lay behind the secretive eyes. A lust to possess the Ice Master for himself.

All of these played into Kurama's decision to allow Toya to set the pace of their relationship. He did not wish to scare Toya away, by being as forceful and demanding as he would have been had they met before he became Shuichi.

Suddenly Kurama laughed to himself. "Kurama?" Toya questioned sleepily, even as he felt himself falling asleep against Kurama's chest.

"Just thinking on how far we've come already. The first time we met, I had to plant the deadly vetch in my own veins in order to keep you from stabbing me through the heart." Kurama shook his head, thinking that Toya had somehow managed to steal his heart instead.

Kurama figured Toya was asleep when his Ice Master didn't respond, but Toya simply didn't have anything to say. Stabbing someone through the heart. That's what he felt he was doing to himself. Perhaps the second best thing wouldn't be good enough at all.


	3. Part Two

The next day Hiei stormed around Mukuro's palace, doing all of his duties in record time, but leaving a path of destruction behind him in the process. He then returned to his room and watched Kurama suspiciously all day. The fox demon simply went about his human life as though nothing was wrong. But every time Hiei closed his eyes, the image of Kurama and Toya burned against the inside of his eyelids. It wasn't fair. He wasn't even there. He had no chance.

He had only just returned to his bedroom after dinner when a slight tapping came on the door. "What?" he snapped. He was fed up with everything. He felt it would be a relief to just kill Mukuro, confront Kurama and abscond with his treasure. But he couldn't do that. Not when Kurama and Toya so obviously made each other happy.

Mukuro entered Hiei's bedroom and looked him over carefully. "Something vexes thee?" she questioned delicately. When he didn't answer, she rephrased, "What has you so angry all of a sudden?"

"Your business?" he snapped. "I think not."

"But it interests me deeply," she answered.

"I don't care if it interests you, woman," Hiei hissed. "It doesn't concern you."

She walked up behind him, circling him carefully. He stood motionless, as though ignoring her would make her go away. She stepped closer to him, pressing her body to his. "Let me make you feel better, Hiei." She wrapped her arms around him and ran her hands up and down the defined muscles of his abdomen and chest. "Come to me, let me make you mine."

"Be gone, witch," Hiei spit at her, not moving a single muscle, even under the delicate assault of her fingers. "I never want to see you in my room again. If I do, I guarantee that I will leave and go to Yomi."

Mukuro glared, and a hiss of anger escaped her lips. "Fine," she snapped. "But if you meet your little fox friend on the battlefield, I expect you to kill him, no questions asked. I do not care about your feelings."

"Fine," Hiei snapped. "It won't be an issue." And it wouldn't. A jealousy he couldn't control was consuming him, as well as a distinct sense of betrayal and a strong throb of pain in his chest each time he thought of Kurama and Toya snuggled together on the couch in the dark. At the moment, Hiei's feelings towards Kurama were anything but friendly.

* * *

><p>As the weeks passed, Mukuro found Hiei to be more and more temperamental and irritable. She couldn't have known that it was because Toya and Kurama had taken to spending every night together. She did however realize that whatever it was that was driving Hiei to such spurts of anger must not be small. He was more levelheaded than people gave him credit for and, for him to lose his cool this often, something had to have happened that hit close to home. His sister, perhaps. Or that goddamn fox demon she suspected Hiei had feelings for.<p>

And the fact that Hiei was in a bad mood somehow spilled over and put Mukuro in a worse mood than normal, meaning even more pain than usual for those beneath her.

Hiei would never have admitted it, but his bad mood stemmed directly from the fact that the man he had been falling for since the first time he saw him was seeing someone else. And it was another man, meaning Hiei couldn't delude himself into thinking his prince might deny him for that reason. No, Hiei was destined to be alone. But in spite of the fact that he had always known this, when it was reinforced in this manner, it _hurt_. More than anything Hiei had ever felt, it hurt. He couldn't explain it to himself, and he didn't really want to try.

* * *

><p>Toya was being bothered by the other members of Kurama's training group. They had taken note of his nightly disappearances, and were desperate to know the details. Kurama simply sat back and watched, hoping Toya would tell the truth, but never pushing him to do so.<p>

Jin and Suzuki had their suspicions—reinforced by the fact that Kurama had unintentionally eased up on the punishments he handed out. Shishiwakamaru didn't care. But Chu and Rinku wanted to know the big secret. "Who is she?" Chu demanded whenever he thought Toya wasn't really paying attention.

Toya would do his best to smile but would always ignore the question.

Until one evening at dinner when Chu asked, once again, "Her name, Toya, that's all I'm asking. What's the name of your new girl?"

When Toya still declined to answer, Suzuki couldn't help but ask, "Or the name of your new beau, as the case may be?"

Toya choked on his noodles, and it took several minutes of beating his back before he was able to wheeze, "Please you guys. Just leave it. I'll tell you when I'm ready." If he was ever to be ready. He still couldn't suppress the feelings of guilt he felt at betraying himself and settling for second best. He had never settled for second best before in his life. And now, when it was important, he had decided to give up. And it hurt.

* * *

><p>What it hurt Hiei to watch and what was causing Toya huge amounts of grief was putting Kurama on cloud nine. His ice demon was becoming more accustomed to his touch, more relaxed in the time they spent together. It had only been a few nights before Toya had, if a bit reluctantly, allowed Kurama to kiss him goodnight.<p>

But, blissfully happy as he was, Kurama still couldn't make himself ignore the warning signs. Toya seemed happy when they were together, but there was something Kurama couldn't pin down as well. Or rather, there was something Kurama didn't want to pin down. In his heart he knew that Toya did not truly feel the same way about him.

So it was one night—their one month anniversary, in fact, not that Kurama was counting—that he asked, "Is there someone else, Toya?" His voice was quiet, threatening in a way Toya couldn't exactly explain, even to himself.

"No," the Ice Master answered in surprise. "Why? Who else would there be?"

Kurama frowned. He hated to be so distrustful; by now he had realized that his feelings for Toya went beyond mere fascination. He loved the man reclining at the other end of the couch. Loved him in a way he had never loved anyone before. So he had to say it. "You seem distant, Toya. I worry… I fear you do not feel the same way I do."

A sharp pang of guilt went through Toya's heart once more. But by now he had convinced himself that, if he was with Kurama long enough, he could learn to love the handsome demon before him. And Toya did love him, in a way. He didn't want to hurt the now-vulnerable fox that had just effectively bared his soul to a man who quite possibly didn't return his feelings.

So Toya did what he thought would help them both the most in the long run. He crawled along the length of the couch until he was hovering over Kurama's body. "No," he whispered. "There's no one else."

He then pressed his lips to Kurama's, gently at first, then more and more forcefully as the lust that was far more real than the other feelings he was pretending to have took hold of his body. Kurama immediately began kissing him back, roughly enough that Toya had the brief thought that there might be some inexplicable bruising the next morning. But then Kurama's tongue forced his mouth open, slipping inside to taste him, and all thoughts vanished. All thoughts, that is, beyond the desire to get as close as physically possible to the man he now held in his arms.

Kurama pulled out of the kiss and began kissing along his jaw instead, until he reached Toya's chin and once again began the intense, thorough bruising of his lover's lips. He gently bit Toya's lower lip, acutely aware that he was unintentionally slipping into the form of the fox. His teeth were far sharper in that form and, when he unintentionally broke the thin skin on Toya's lips, he carefully licked the blood away. "Sorry, love," he murmured.

"It's fine," Toya whispered back, his breathing heavy. He let show none of the worry he felt at Kurama's use of the word _love_, even as nothing more than a term of endearment.

But then, through the kissing, his hands still clutching the other demon to him, Kurama forced Toya deeper into the nightmare he had created for himself. "I love you," he admitted quietly.

Toya barely kept himself from freezing up, and only prevented himself from lying by allowing a noncommittal moan to escape from his mouth as Kurama brushed his lips over every inch of Toya's face.

But the fact that he had been forced to realize what he was truly dancing with—his lust for Kurama, his very real love for another man, Kurama's very real love for _him_—had taken much of the pleasure out of the tender touches and the forceful kisses. He was hurting himself and he would likely end up hurting Kurama as well. His own selfishness astounded him, and he gently pulled away, apologizing, "I'm sorry, Kurama. I'm… I'm not ready."

The disappointment that flashed once in Kurama's eyes was almost enough to break Toya's heart. Almost. But then it was gone, and Kurama was smiling, if a bit sadly. "Very well, love. Shall we go to sleep then?"

Toya simply nodded, permitted to Kurama to give him the typical, loving goodnight kiss and escaped down the hall to Kurama's guest room.

Left alone, Kurama was left with the sneaking suspicion that he couldn't trust his own emotions. But he was also left with the fact that, for the first time in his life, those emotions were overriding his calm, analytical nature. And there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

><p>By this time, watching Toya and Kurama's relationship had become something akin to an obsession for Hiei. And watching the two of them that night was almost too much for him to handle.<p>

Mukuro pretended she didn't notice the silent temper tantrum Hiei threw in response to the scene he had watched unfold from a distance. She hid her anger at the symbolically incinerated garden she found the next morning. She refused to acknowledge anything different in Hiei's behavior.

Her real reason for this was not that she didn't care; she cared more than she was willing to admit. Her reasoning behind pretending nothing was different was that she saw that, at the moment, Hiei was angry enough that the smallest thing could set him off. And with that kind of anger backing him, she couldn't have honestly said who would win if she were forced to fight him.

* * *

><p>Another month passed… and another… and another… and each time Kurama's doubts threatened to overwhelm him, he was reassured by the pressure of Toya's willing lips against his, the ice demon's hard musculature molding against his, the unyielding want he could feel in the way Toya held him during those precious moments. And each time this happened, Kurama was able to delude himself—both mentally and emotionally—a while longer, convincing himself that Toya loved him. The fact remained, however, that Toya still refused to give in completely.<p>

And the fact remained that Toya still had not told Kurama that his feelings were reciprocated.

But then one night, his ice demon saw his face, drawn and tired with worry. Toya hesitated a moment before deciding he owed it to Kurama to truly try. He knew that he had been holding back till now, holding onto the hope that what he still considered the best thing might be possible.

Without saying a word he turned the TV off, took Kurama's hand and led him down the hall to the redhead's room. Kurama's eyes frowned in confusion, until Toya whispered, "I'm ready, Kurama." And then he attacked, kissing Kurama with a ferocity that left the older demon temporarily stunned. But the shock lasted only a moment and he was throwing himself at Toya just as forcefully.

He belonged to this man so completely. All he cared about was Toya and when Toya decided to forgo unbuttoning his shirt and simply ripped it off of him, dropping the shreds to the floor, Kurama forgot any misgivings he may have retained up to that point. He simply pulled Toya's shirt over his head and continued kissing him, aware of nothing beyond how much he wanted to take this demon for himself—how much he wanted to give himself over to this demon.

"Toya," he began as they fell heavily on the bed, "Is—"

"Shhh," Toya hushed him, unwilling to make that kind of commitment yet. He knew Kurama was willing to make that kind of oath, but he was not. To have sex with Kurama was one thing, especially when he cared for the fox demon as he did. But to _mate_ with him, to make Kurama his life partner, forever… he couldn't do that. Not yet.

"But—" Kurama started again as Toya undid his pants and pulled them down, revealing the bulge in Kurama's boxers that had been forming ever sense Toya's lips had pressed up against his.

"Shhh," Toya encouraged again, allowing Kurama to removing his pants as well, the lust he felt obvious to the fox demon lying next to him.

Kurama proceeded to kiss his way along Toya's collarbone and neck and up his jawline until he reached the ear, which he nibbled gently, licking along it's rim before returning to Toya's lips. Pressing himself to Toya, their lips apart, Kurama longed to taste more of Toya than just his mouth. Even as he continued kissing the man who was half next to him, half beneath him, Kurama removed Toya's boxers, the last remnants of his clothing, to reveal Toya and all his suppressed desires.

And then all hell broke loose between the two of them as they shared something they had both been waiting for. Kurama's boxers soon joined Toya's on the floor, and the night was filled with the sounds of their moans, both of pleasure and pain. But both men would have immediately agreed that it was the kind of pain that hurt in a good way, no matter how contradictory the statement was.

The moans only escalated as Kurama took Toya for himself, as completely as he could under the circumstances. The only way Kurama could have the Ice Master for himself more entirely than he did at the moment was to allow Toya to reach the decision to make Kurama his mate all on his own. And Kurama could wait for that. This was sweet, enough for now, enough that, for a moment, Kurama truly believed that Toya loved him.

And that belief continued when Toya took his turn, more gently than Kurama was expecting.

It was deep into the night when they collapsed side by side in the bed. Kurama kissed Toya once more, delighting in the taste of the other man's lips, a mixture of his lover and himself. "I love you," he whispered.

Toya smiled sleepily and finally told the lie that would come back to haunt him more than any other. "And I you."


	4. Part Three

When Toya had led Kurama down the hall, Hiei had watched with slight horror. When he heard Toya whisper those two words—_I'm ready_—Hiei's rage had overflowed, the furniture in his room bursting into flame. But it wasn't until Toya ripped Kurama's shirt off that Hiei couldn't take it any longer. It was there that he put his foot down. He snapped his jagan closed, sliding the headband back on so forcefully it nearly ripped. Watching the two of them complete the mating ritual was not something he needed—or even desired—to see. In fact, what he wanted most in the world at the moment was to pretend that Toya and Kurama were not sharing a bed, pretend that they were not committing themselves to each other through an unbreakable, demonic bond, pretend he still had a chance.

He grimaced and stood, noting the burned furniture with a very detached sort of surprise.

And when Mukuro woke the next morning, Hiei was gone.

* * *

><p>When Kurama woke, Toya was still sleeping soundly next to him. He smiled to himself. Perhaps their bond had not been sealed in blood, but that was only a matter of time. He would make Toya his mate, his life partner. You should love your mate, should you not? And Kurama found it hard to believe that he could love Toya more than he did at the moment.<p>

He gently brushed his lips against Toya's cheek, stood and stretched, slightly sore from the night's activities. But once again it was the bewildering pain that brought with it a strange sense of contentment, happiness and pleasure.

As he headed to the kitchen, Kurama smiled to himself, suppressing the doubts that were already beginning to surface without even realizing he was doing so.

* * *

><p>That night, Toya opted not to return to his room, instead staying the night in Kurama's, although neither of them felt the need to do anything more than sleep at the moment. Neither of them wore a shirt, each content to relax in his lover's bare arms.<p>

The next morning, Kurama once again got up early to prepare breakfast for himself and Toya, not bothering to change out of his pajama pants first. Minutes later, Toya came up behind him, wrapping his arms around the man he was truly beginning to love. Perhaps not as much as Kurama would have liked, perhaps not even in the way Kurama would have liked, but he loved Kurama nonetheless. Resting his head against Kurama's bare shoulder, he said nothing. He could still not be sure if he did not regret lying to Kurama two nights before.

Kurama was pleased at Toya's actions. In the past, breaking Toya down until the man admitted his love and accepted Kurama's love in return would have been a challenge, a game, something to gloat over once completed, to revel in for a short time afterward before leaving and never coming back. But here, now, with Toya… it was something else entirely. It was still Toya admitting his love and accepting Kurama's, but Kurama felt no sense of accomplishment; only joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.

Then Toya murmured into his shoulder, "I'm going to go clean up."

The warmth around his waist and along his back vanished, and Kurama shivered at the sudden rush of cool air. But then the door slammed and he found the tip of a sword at his throat. "Hiei," he managed to say, knowing the fiery aura that was lashing out in angry waves behind him. As though the sword wasn't hint enough. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

The answer Hiei gave was growled, his tone more angry and resentful than Kurama had ever heard it. And after knowing Hiei for so many years, through so many battles won and lost, that said a significant amount about Hiei's mood. In the lowest, most dangerous voice he could manage, Hiei hissed, "You possess something I wanted."

"Wanted?" Kurama questioned delicately. "Past tense."

"It is now out of my reach," Hiei growled, once again using the threatening tone that was nearly enough to make Kurama nervous. "But it is still within my power to kill you, and then die myself, Kurama."

Kurama frowned. Hiei had used his name, avoiding the informal _fox_ he typically used. Hiei was far more serious about this than Kurama had first realized. Unfortunately he still hadn't the slightest idea what Hiei was talking about. "And what would be achieved by killing me?" Kurama asked mildly, continuing to make breakfast as though he was entirely oblivious to the sword tip that was poking painfully into his neck.

"Nothing," Hiei hissed. "Nothing beyond soothing my own anger."

"And would killing me not make this thing—whatever it is—yours?" Kurama asked carefully, his mind working quickly in an attempt to determine what, precisely, they were actually talking about. He could think of nothing he possessed that Hiei would be willing to kill for, let alone something Hiei could not take for himself once Kurama was dead. And forget the fact that Hiei claimed he was willing to die for it as well.

"Hardly." Kurama barely caught the bitterness hidden behind the hate and rage that otherwise filled the voice of the man he had once considered his best friend. It appeared those days were over, however.

Kurama then concluded that being more forceful with his queries was the best way to get Hiei to divulge his true reasons for appearing unannounced, and in such a foul mood. "Just tell me what the hell you're talking about, Hiei," he said. "I haven't the slightest idea what you mean by any of this, and I am really not in the mood to dance around the issue until you give me enough to guess." As an afterthought he added roughly, "And get the goddamn sword away from my throat."

Hiei gave no indication that he had heard anything Kurama said, simply repeating, "You possess something I wanted."

"Again with the wanted!" Kurama exclaimed. "Either you want it or you don't, Hiei. There is nothing I have that, were you actually to kill me, you could not take."

"There is," Hiei insisted, thinking mournfully of the ice demon he was likely going to hurt deeply in his selfishness.

"Then tell me what it is, damn it," Kurama cursed, momentarily losing his composure for real. "I'd appreciate it if you would stop with all the cryptic statements and threats, especially considering I have a guest."

The next word rolled off Hiei's tongue in a hiss that astounded Kurama, not that he allowed his surprise at Hiei's now genuinely murderous tone to show. "Precisely."

But that single word was all Kurama needed to put all the clues together. "Toya?" Kurama asked, slightly horrified that Hiei was quite possibly after the same man he wanted for himself. Hiei nodded curtly. "What do you mean, I possess—" Kurama cut himself off abruptly, suddenly aware Hiei thought Toya and Kurama were a bonded, mating pair. "Have you been _watching_ us, Hiei?" Kurama demanded, truly angry.

"If I have?" Hiei challenged. "The two of you are now mated. I can never have him. But I can kill you for taking that chance away from me. And then I can stand by and allow him to kill me for taking his mate away from him."

"You have no _right_," Kurama started angrily, only to see Toya stop in the doorway, startled by the scene unfolding in the small kitchen area.

"Hiei?" Toya asked, his voice cracking slightly. Kurama winced as his doubts flooded forward, keenly aware that it was not his name Toya had asked first. "Kurama? What's going on?"

"Nothing," spit Hiei at the man before him now, the man he believed he could never have. "It doesn't concern you. I'll just be going." He glared at Kurama and threatened, "We will finish this another time." Hiei's image blurred at the same moment the door slammed, and then the image of the irate fire demon was gone entirely. As he fled, Hiei chastised himself for being too weak to kill Kurama with Toya present. He already cared for the Ice Master too deeply, and it was only going to end up hurting them both.

In the apartment, Toya stood in the doorway, staring guardedly at the place Hiei had stood moments before, his sword at the sensitive flesh just above Kurama's jugular vein. "What was that about?" Toya asked, working to sound indifferent and largely successful at doing so. He crossed the room and sat down at the table, and even Kurama could find nothing more than a mild curiosity in the bewilderingly cool features of the younger demon. Never in his life had he had so much trouble reading and interpreting the nuances of expressions, emotions and moods. Kurama was also sure this boded ill for their relationship, as smoothly as it seemed to be running on the surface.

Kurama just turned back to the stove and shrugged. "Hiei was just confused, I guess. He seemed to think I possess something I do not." Strictly speaking, that was true. Kurama and Toya had not yet performed the blood bonding ceremony, the ultimate mark of a demon's love for another. Toya was not Kurama's yet.

And Kurama's doubts prevented him from admitting to Toya the whole truth. He couldn't bring himself to say that Hiei had come here believing Kurama the blood partner, the mate, of the man who sat calmly before Kurama now. He couldn't risk losing Toya because the feelings Kurama had suspected Toya had for someone else were likely feelings he had for _Hiei_.

When Kurama looked over at Toya, he was bemused once again. The demon's aura was calm on the surface, but Kurama could just sense a conflict occurring beneath the surface. Yet none of it showed on Toya's face. People often accused him of being cold and never revealing his emotions. But he felt the demon before him was just as guilty of those things. Perhaps more so, since, unlike Kurama's, Toya's calm, cold gaze was natural, his emotions hidden by pure instinct rather than decades of practice.

And Kurama found this look both curiously bewitching and frighteningly unreadable, neither of which he had come across in a very long time.

* * *

><p>Toya sat at the table, dwelling on the fire demon who had just fled the apartment he was more or less living in. Toya could feel the emotions roiling within him. He hardly knew what to think. He had been thinking that he loved Kurama, that it wasn't such a lie to say so, that if given enough time Toya could learn to love Kurama like he knew Kurama deserved.<p>

But he had seen Hiei again. And seeing Hiei made Toya realize that the only thing allowing him to convince himself of any of that was the fact that Hiei had been at such a remove. The distance between them for so long was all that had allowed Toya to suppress his feelings.

And what mystifying feelings they were. Entering the Dark Tournament had been enough for him to know a significant change was about to occur. He had hardly needed to see the master of flames to realize that Hiei would be the reason for that change. Toya couldn't have explained it to anyone, least of all himself, but after the Tournament was over, he felt different.

And it was not arrogance that had him convinced he should have been capable of beating Kurama. It was the fact that a part of his consciousness had been ensnared by the shirtless fire demon trapped in Ruka's force field. He had been entirely intrigued and completely incapable of fighting to his fullest abilities. And he had never told this to anyone; it would make him sound self-centered and arrogant. He had lost in a fair fight; it had not been Kurama's fault he could not maintain his focus.

Although a strong argument could be made for it being Hiei's fault.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks found Kurama and Toya together, sometimes sleeping together, sometimes not. Both pretended to be happy, but neither was. Toya was battling with the decision to leave Kurama, and it was becoming more and more difficult for Kurama to deceive himself. He was not stupid; part of him had known from the beginning that Toya wasn't entirely within his grasp. His heart was just not quite ready to let go of that hope. Hiei did not return.<p>

One evening Kurama quietly asked Toya, "Is there something between you and Hiei?"

Toya looked startled, sitting across the table from him. "No. How could there be?"

Kurama bit his lip as he conceded that a relationship between the two men was unlikely, particularly if the rumors that had spread from the demon to the human plane were true.

The story that Mukuro and Hiei were in a relationship.

* * *

><p>Hiei, in his anger at Kurama, Toya and himself, had returned to the demon plane with the intent of showing Toya what he had lost. And Hiei was perfectly aware that there was one person who would be all too willing to help him in that endeavor. Neither did he care that he was risking his neck by deceiving her; Toya and Kurama were blood partners. Nothing could be done except to show Toya what he had lost.<p>

Mukuro, however, didn't need to guess at the fact that Hiei was merely using her. She hardly cared. He was nothing more than an underling, albeit her second-in-command in everything but name. She simply disliked revealing her true appearance if she could avoid it; Hiei already knew what she truly looked like and was therefore particularly suited to fulfilling her carnal desires. In the end, she was using him as much as he was using her.

* * *

><p>In spite of the fact that he so desperately wanted to believe Toya, Kurama made the decision to visit the only person he knew that he both trusted and who had a rather unorthodox relationship. He gently woke Toya one morning and said, "I'm going to meet with Yusuke. I'll be gone for a few days."<p>

Toya frowned. "And Yomi?"

"Easily dealt with," Kurama replied. He had already informed Yomi he was going to Raizen's palace with the intent to gather intelligence. Yomi had just nodded, acknowledging that Kurama likely knew what he was doing. He also sensed that Kurama was lying and that his trip to visit Yusuke under the pretense of a personal problem was, in all actuality, not a pretense at all. And he cared little what Kurama did in his spare time, so long as it didn't threaten Yomi's plans.

And so Kurama left the human realm, taking the week long journey to Raizen's stronghold to seek help from the hotheaded former Detective.

Left alone, Toya's inclination to leave Kurama—in addition to his training and the war as a whole—grew stronger and stronger. The one thing that stopped him were the rumors that were flying across the demon plane about Hiei and Mukuro.


	5. Part Four

Even as his affair with Mukuro began and continued, Hiei watched Kurama and Toya. Until, one day, Kurama simply got up and left the human world entirely. No ceremony, no long goodbyes, nothing. Just some quick, unexpected words that he was going to see the Detective, and he was gone.

Hiei had frowned to himself, especially at the look on Toya's face only moments afterwards. It was not of worry that his lover was going into enemy lands, it was not fear that he would not see Kurama again, it was not even betrayal that he had not been asked to come along. It was relief.

Kurama is stifling him Hiei had realized immediately. Kurama was doing nothing Hiei himself would not have done, but where love was lacking, it was too much for Toya to handle.

This was not how a mated pair should act. Demons knew what the blood oath meant; they knew the consequences and it was a decision no one ever took lightly. And so Hiei immediately came to the only sensible conclusion. They had not yet taken the oath.

Upon realizing this, Hiei left Mukuro's bed so silently even she didn't wake, regretting the time he had spent there, understanding it would make it harder for Toya to trust him. But that didn't stop him from vanishing from Mukuro's palace without leave once again and reappearing a short time later in the human world on Genkai's front steps.

"Hiei," she said mildly. "What are you doing here?"

"I hardly think that's your business."

"Kurama is away on business of his own," she informed him, only to be surprised by the spike in the anger that rolled off Hiei like waves on a beach at the mention of his best friend.

"Which is the reason I came now." Hiei paused then added, "He was my best friend. I do not wish to kill him, and I fear I might if I see him again." What Hiei didn't add was that Kurama would likely wish to kill him, if today went as planned.

He stepped past her without another word, leaving her curious as to what could have caused such a drastic falling out.

Even as Hiei headed toward the training grounds, Jin and Suzuki were muttering to themselves, with Shishiwakamaru grumbling in the background. "Toya seems so stressed lately," Suzuki said worriedly.

Jin nodded. "Ah asked him about it, and he wouldn' even give me a straight answer."

"Same here," Suzuki said, watching the ice demon spar with Chu and Rinku at the same time.

"Who cares?" Shishiwakamaru complained. "We're here to train, not to be friends."

"But Kurama's behavior has been off lately too," Suzuki pointed out, more loudly than he intended. Lowering his voice, he added, "He seems happy, yet worried. I don't understand it. They're so perfect for each other."

"What would you imbeciles know about perfection?" Hiei asked darkly, making both Suzuki and Jin jump.

"Hiei!" Jin exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Hiei was spared answering as Toya froze in horror upon hearing Hiei's name. Chu took the opportunity to hit him, hard, sending Toya into a blissful state of unconsciousness.

Hiei rushed forward and caught the man before he hit the ground. "I'll deal with this," he said, easily lifting Toya's limp form and moving to go back inside. He stopped at the door and, without so much as looking back at them, threatened, "If any of you idiots comes near the room at the far end of the temple, I will cut you apart piece by piece, bandaging each wound after it is inflicted. I will then take it upon myself to find a spoon and use it to cut out your heart. Or hearts, if more than one of you is stupid enough to follow me." His afterimage blurred and he was gone altogether.

"I don't advise following them," Master Genkai noted. "The state he's in, it would not be wise."

"Why would he be bandaging the wounds?" Rinku asked the other demons.

"He is threatening a long, torturous death," Genkai mused. "The less blood loss there is, the longer he can draw out the pain. And I also believe he meant every word he spoke just now." Seeing the way Toya had reacted to Hiei's presence and Hiei's immediate response to that, Genkai immediately surmised that the taciturn demon was the cause for the strife between Kurama and Hiei.

"An' th' spoon?" Chu wondered aloud.

"It is dull," Shishiwakamaru said harshly. "It too would cause more pain."

"Well," Genkai sighed. "Continue with your training. I shall go prepare lunch." She feared things at the temple would get violent, and soon, all over the love of the Ice Master currently lying unconscious in the farthest reaches of her temple.

As Genkai left, Jin said, "If ah didn' know better, ah'd swear Hiei is th' cause of all th' tension between Kurama and Toya."

Suzuki just shook his head, unwilling to commit himself to any one opinion on the matter.

* * *

><p>As Hiei sat waiting for Toya to wake, Kurama arrived at Raizen's palace. The guards were immediately on the defensive. "I'm here to see Yusuke," Kurama snapped. "And I am not in the mood to deal with the likes of you. If you value your lives, you will take me to see him immediately." The green eyes flashed gold, and the guards did the wise thing, calling up to the castle in order to see if Yusuke was willing to see him.<p>

"Hell yes," came the answer. Before anyone could move, Yusuke had arrived at the front gates. "Hey, Kuram…a…" The enthusiastic greeting fell into a worried one when Yusuke caught sight of his friend. Kurama's face was pale, even more so next to the bright red of his hair. And there was a darkness in his eyes that seemed to radiate from the depths of his soul.

"I must speak with you alone," Kurama said.

Yusuke nodded. He was worried about his friend. He had never seen Kurama so upset, no matter how little Kurama revealed of his thoughts. It was the fact that Yusuke could see _any_ of Kurama's conflicted emotions that worried him. Yusuke led him through several passageways and up a few staircases before sealing the two of them off in his room. "What's wrong?" he asked the moment the lock had clicked.

"I—" Kurama stopped. This was not something he had shared with anyone. He had not even told Toya how strong his doubts were.

Yusuke frowned and asked, "Did Yomi send you here to deliver an ultimatum? Has he grown impatient, waiting for Raizen to die?"

Kurama's chuckle was low and dark. "Yomi grow impatient? Hardly. This visit is entirely personal."

"Kurama," Yusuke said, his voice holding a warning. "What's really going on?"

Kurama took a deep breath and allowed everything to come spilling out, although it was in his characteristic, calm, controlled manner. Each word was carefully selected for precision and accuracy of meaning. "I have been foolhardy, Yusuke. I have permitted my emotions to take control of me."

"So what's the problem?" asked the heir to Raizen's throne.

Kurama sighed. That was the one disadvantage of coming to Yusuke for help; the teen was ruled almost entirely by his emotions and impulses. It would be difficult for him to understand Kurama's position. Especially considering for how short a time Yusuke had known of his demonic heritage. Kurama continued, "I have fallen in love—deeply in love—and my partner doesn't appear to return my feelings. At the very least, he has doubts."

"He?" Yusuke inquired immediately. "You like guys?"

Of course Yusuke would get caught up on that. "Guy or girl, it hardly matters, Yusuke," Kurama chastised him. "The situation is what is important. I love him, but I fear he doesn't love me. All I want at the moment is to take the blood oath and have him with me forever. But he is not willing. On top of all of that, Hiei wants Toya for himself."

"Wait," Yusuke said, putting his hands up to stop Kurama. "Wait, wait, wait. _Toya_? As in the ice demon you nearly killed yourself trying to beat in the Dark Tournament? _That_ Toya?"

"Yes, Yusuke."

"Okay," Yusuke said, his eyes wide. Not that Kurama could blame him. The start of his relationship with Toya had been anything but conventional. "Okay. Just a couple more things. Why'd you come to me?"

"You are the only person I feel I can truly trust at the moment," Kurama replied quietly. "And, quite conveniently, you have an entirely unorthodox relationship as well."

Yusuke decided not to mention the fact that he and Keiko had broken up, and that she had no intention of waiting for him. Instead he just asked, "And Kurama… what is a blood oath?"

Kurama looked at him, startled that Raizen had not explained this to him. But then he sighed and ran his fingers through the ragged hair he hadn't washed in close to a week. Yusuke was a demon now. He needed to know of this. "Demons are strange creatures, Yusuke. When we love someone with our entire being, if they love us so completely in return, we can take a blood oath. It is a bonding… not ritual, precisely, as it is very private and only the two taking the oath are ever present. The two participants must be doing it of their own free will, or the oath of both partners is rendered null and void."

Kurama stopped, trying to decide how best to explain it. It had been explained to him when he was young—so young that he didn't really remember the words that had been used, just the importance behind them. Yusuke asked, "You still haven't really told me what it is, Kurama, or how it's done, or why it's so important."

"It is a binding of two lives into one, Yusuke," Kurama finally answered.

"Like a wedding?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama shook his head. "By taking a blood oath, you are committing yourself to that one person for life, body and soul. Not just their life; yours as well. You can never be with another person again, even if your partner has passed on. It would be a torment on your very soul to do so. In the demon plane there are few laws common between all the rulers; one is that, if a life partner is killed, the remaining partner is entirely justified in seeking revenge. That all leaders agree on this show just how powerful a thing it is; it is not a decision that can be made lightly, if it is ever to be made at all. I would guess that Raizen is starving himself because of a blood oath. There is a human woman in your heritage; I imagine Raizen took his blood oath with her." Kurama went on, "It is important because it cannot be undone. You are bound in both blood and love to the other person. Blood is life. Through the mixing of the blood, you are blurring the distinction between the two lives, resulting in one life. In the case of blood oaths, one plus one does not equal two. One plus one equals one. And it is _permanent_. Nothing can break that tie." His eyes flashed and he repeated, "Nothing."

"Not even death?" Yusuke asked, certain he knew the answer, but wanting the clarification anyway.

"With a bond that strong I would imagine it goes beyond death," Kurama replied. "Few are willing to take such a huge risk, placing their happiness in the hands of another so fully."

"But you are," Yusuke stated. He then added, "You still haven't told me how it is done."

"I am not sure if I should, Yusuke," Kurama said, knowing what was on the teen's mind. "She may not be a demon, but Keiko would be tied to you simply by the force of _your_ blood. And even after her death, you would never be capable of finding another. The two of you would be life partners, a mated pair. Nothing would change that. Ever. "

Yusuke nodded. "And if that's how much I love her?"

Kurama sighed and replied, "Very well. Just don't rush into this. Make it clear what she is committing herself to. Make sure you truly understand." Yusuke nodded, serious for once in his life. Kurama, suddenly aware that he was giving more advice than he was getting, explained quietly, "The blood of two is mixed, much in the same way as the trivial process through which humans become blood brothers or sisters."

"That's it?" Yusuke asked, bewildered by the simplicity of it.

Kurama shook his head. "It must be sealed by… Yusuke, the phrase _making love_ was not originally a human term. It used to mean something much stronger than it does now. The same can be said of the trivial game of blood brothers. It too used to have meaning. They are the separation of the two step process by which demons can bind themselves together for eternity." Kurama paused before murmuring to himself, "The ceremony has fallen from human memory, but I would imagine that the blood oath could take place between two humans if they knew what they were doing." He looked back at Yusuke. "Blood and love. A physical manifestation of the most powerful of emotions. Blood is a powerful thing, Yusuke, don't forget that. The blood oath… forever binding, eternally irreversible."

Yusuke nodded. He then asked, "If you are not sure he loves you, why are you so willing to take this step? Could it not, in the end, make you both unhappy?" Kurama stared at the teenager before him, thrown off by the wisdom in Yusuke's words. Yusuke chuckled nervously to himself. "Sorry. I said something wrong, didn't I?"

"No," Kurama murmured. "You just made me realize what my own words meant. I love him. I will take the blood oath with him the minute he is ready. But I have had many more years to think over this decision than Toya has. I need to appreciate how difficult such a decision is for him."

Yusuke shrugged. "Not exactly what I meant, but hey. Whatever works, right?"

Kurama nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Yusuke."

"No problem. Now do me a favor in return," Yusuke said. Kurama looked at him questioningly. Yusuke answered, "Take a bath and spend a few days with me. It's been a while since I've seen any of my old friends."

Kurama nodded, thinking that a few days alone might be exactly what Toya needed.

* * *

><p>Hiei waited patiently for the icy apparition before him to awaken. It was a meager twenty five minutes before the man blinked and sat up. He reached up to feel his cheekbone, the place Chu's fist had connected with his face. Then his eyes fell on Hiei, and a slight panic filled them. But a moment later it was gone. "Hiei."<p>

It pained Hiei how coldly it was spoken; this man was behaving as indifferently towards him as he deserved. Hiei couldn't deny that Toya was right to treat him thusly; however that didn't dull the pain caused by that one word. "Toya," he acknowledged, hiding the pain in his usual manner.

But somehow, Toya sensed it in spite of how carefully it was hidden. "You're upset." The statement held no curiosity as Toya tried to force himself not to care. This man… he was so far out of reach it made Toya want to cry. But that was the last thing he would do. Not here, not now.

But Hiei felt the pain that was emanating from the deceptively delicate creature in front of him. "As are you." Then, tact never having been Hiei's strong suit, he cut to the chase. "You are bonded with the fox, are you not?"

Toya tried not to flinch back at how close he had come to taking that oath. All he said in response was, "I fail to see how that concerns you. Did Mukuro send you after us to see how you could create dissention in our ranks?" Before he could stop himself he added, "Her pet that you are?" In his head, Toya cursed his tongue for being intentionally hurtful.

But Hiei didn't blink, once again feeling the words were deserved. "Pet?" he asked lightly. "Never. I had other… motives for turning to Mukuro."

"Other motives?" Toya asked skeptically, leaning up against the wall and facing Hiei.

Hiei grimaced and admitted, "I thought you and the fox had taken the blood oath."

"What does that have to do with you and Mukuro?" Toya asked, afraid to hear the answer. His doubt of himself was saying that he was caught in a never-ending love triangle, in which the man he loved, loved the man who loved him.

Hiei didn't respond for a long time. Then he asked, "Do you believe in love at first sight, Toya?"

Toya was taken aback, but couldn't help but answer truthfully, "No, I do not."

Hiei's face fell. "I see…" He had only met Toya a very few times. There was no reason for him to feel so strongly, nor for him to feel so possessive. But he did. The only other person he felt this strange, impossible connection to was his sister, and even that was not this strong. He loved Toya. It was illogical and against his better judgment, but it was true.

Then, suddenly, Toya added, "But I believe in love _before_ first sight." Hiei looked at him curiously, Toya took a deep breath and admitted, "I entered the Tournament and instantly knew that a big change was going to occur. And… when I lost to Kurama… it was because I could hardly keep half my attention on him."

"Why?" Hiei murmured, understanding exactly the feeling Toya had described. He too had anticipated a change when he had acquiesced to participating in that asinine tournament. And no matter how much he had complained about being trapped in Ruka's prison, he had been relieved not to need to fight the Shadow Channelers. There had been something there he couldn't explain; while he never once doubted his own abilities, neither had he any true desire to pit himself against them. He had watched the fight, the pain in his chest at the end of Kurama's fight with Toya an entirely bewildering feeling.

He was now forced to the conclusion that Toya was the reason. From the beginning he had had a connection to the strange creature before him.

And then Toya's confession caught him of guard. "I lost because couldn't stop watching you."

Hiei blinked and found himself confessing, "My relationship with Mukuro was a ruse. I thought you had mated with the fox. I wished to make you realize what you had lost."

Toya stared, his jaw slightly slack due to his surprise. "You went to Mukuro… to make me _jealous_?"

"Yes."

"Hiei, come here." Hiei stared at the other man warily, unwilling to move closer. He knew his own temper flared easily and, no matter how much he loved this man, the demon would not be exempt from his anger, if Hiei felt it was warranted. "Hiei?"

Hiei stood, slowly removing his sword as a safety precaution. If the sword was at any kind of distance it would give him a second to calm down before lashing out. He just hoped a second would be enough. He crossed the room and hesitantly sat down next to Toya. But Toya didn't do what Hiei was expecting—not that Hiei was really sure _what_ he was expecting. All he knew was that he wasn't prepared for the arms that flew around his neck and the face that buried itself in his shoulder.

But this obvious show of affection wasn't the worst of it. Not even close. "I'm sorry," Toya whispered, barely loud enough for Hiei to hear. "I'm so sorry. From that one day… since then you've been all I've wanted. But then you left, working for the side that I was fighting against. I thought that I was delusional, merely imagining that we had a connection. I tried to make myself love Kurama, considering him a very good second best. But no matter how wonderful the second best is, it could never compare to you." Toya once again bit back the tears, this time of both guilt and happiness. Guilt at what he had almost done, happiness that he had not followed through. "I'm so sorry, Hiei. I almost ruined everything."

"No," Hiei said harshly. "Do not apologize. You did what any sane person would have done. You did what you thought it would take to make you happy." He didn't mention that he himself would not have done something so foolish simply for the sake of happiness (to spite, yes; for happiness, no). Then again, he had been accused of being mentally unhinged on more than one occasion.

Toya pulled out of the hug to see if Hiei was speaking in earnest. When he saw that Hiei was serious, that Hiei would not accept his apology because Hiei felt there was nothing to be forgiven, he leaned in and kissed the fire demon on the lips. Hiei didn't move, stayed entirely motionless. Toya pulled back. "Is something wrong?"

"You still want me?" Hiei asked in a voice less than a whisper.

"Yes," Toya answered. "Always."

He kissed Hiei again, the difference being that the kiss was returned. And Hiei, after a few moments, unleashed all the hunger he felt. He was drawn to the man in his arms more strongly than he had ever been drawn to anyone else in his life. And he suddenly realized that the reason he had not killed Kurama that day was not because he feared doing it in front of Toya; it was because he had not been able to bear the thought of hurting Toya so deeply. To sleep with Mukuro was simply malicious, hurtful perhaps, but not devastating. Not the kind of pain that would have been caused by the killing of one's mate.

Hiei suddenly felt hot, something he could not explain, even to himself. Fire demons controlled flames; they didn't get _hot_. But then waves of cool air were rolling off Toya and Hiei pressed himself to the other man, relieved for once in his life to feel the cold. "Opposites attract," Toya murmured into Hiei's mouth, his tongue caressing Hiei's chapped lips. "Perhaps we're meant to be. The fire and the ice can balance each other out."

"Meant to be?" Hiei asked. "Perhaps. But we are hardly opposites beyond our abilities."

His desires were taking control, making it difficult to breathe properly. He wanted to make Toya his own. But Toya wasn't—Toya was busy working to remove Hiei's cloak and shirt, ignoring the kisses the other man placed continuously on his face. Hiei then reached up, having fallen back when Toya all but attacked him, and removed the other man's shirt with a loud, ceremonious ripping noise. Toya didn't notice, his focus now turned to the belt at Hiei's waist.

It was hardly any time at all before they were both nude, Toya still lying atop Hiei where they had fallen in the beginning. Suddenly, Toya sat up. Hiei stared up at him curiously. Toya looked at Hiei, his eyes filled with a kind of honesty and trust Hiei had never seen before, let alone directed at him. And then there was a sliver of ice in Toya's hand, and he was dragging the sharp shard across the palm of his other hand. Hiei watched as the blood welled in Toya's palm, simultaneously using a small, aura-enhanced dagger of flames to imitate the action on his own hand.

Toya slid his hand into Hiei's, lacing their fingers together. "Hiei," he whispered. "I want to make you mine. I want to be yours."

"Toya," Hiei said slowly, "This means forever. There's no going back."

"The moment I felt that first connection, even before we really met there was no going back," Toya murmured, kissing Hiei's third eye, now closed. "This would just verify the truth of that connection, make it more real. If that's possible."

Hiei smiled. "As you wish, Toya. To have you to myself until the end of time… I could ask for nothing more."

As they made love to each other, they never released their hands, their blood continually mingling as they formed a bond that could never be broken.

Neither of them spent even a second thinking of Kurama.


	6. Part Five

They lay on that bed together for hours after they were finished, Toya resting his head on the defined muscles of Hiei's chest. Strangely, the connection they had felt since the beginning had solidified somehow. It was as though there was an invisible cord between the two of them, tying them, the knots that would never come undone pulled tight by their own hands. And there was no regret. No worry at what had been done. There wasn't even the possibility of regret in the distant future. Hiei and Toya had found what many spent their lives searching for—their soul mate, the one who completed them. They may have been two separate entities, yet theirs was now but one life.

As the morning bell sounded to wake them all, Toya murmured into Hiei's neck, "I have a problem."

"Kurama?" Hiei asked, thinking of the man he once considered his friend, the man he had so heinously betrayed.

"Yes," Toya replied.

"You're wrong," Hiei informed him. "It is not your problem. It is our problem. We are one. And there is nothing Kurama can do. We can't go back and between the two of us, he could not hope to win."

"I do not wish to kill him," Toya answered, his eyes open and staring across the room.

"Nor do I," Hiei said, staring in the same direction Toya was, holding the taller man to him. "But if he cannot control himself, it may become unavoidable."

"I love him, Hiei," Toya told his mate. Before Hiei had a chance to get angry, Toya continued, "Not as I love you, but as I love any of my friends. He is important to me, and I wish there was some way I could end what I've been doing with him without hurting him."

Hiei nodded, more to himself than Toya. "As do I. He was my best friend for several years; what he will do when he learns the truth, I do not want to think about."

"So let's not," Toya suggested gently. "Let's think about it when it comes. Whenever he sees fit to return from his visit to Yusuke, whatever that may be about."

Hiei nodded. "Very well. I cannot participate in your training without drawing suspicion, but I will stay close."

Toya gently pressed his lips to Hiei's jugular vein in silent agreement with Hiei's words. He then yawned, sat up and stretched, the bare abs a pleasant sight for the fire demon still reclining on the bed next to him.

Toya stood, pulled his boxers and pants back and began examining the ruined shirt. He sighed. "Ah well. Worth it." Hiei smiled, pleased that Toya wasn't even mad enough to be mocking. He pulled the fabric from Toya's hands and sent it up in a burst of flames.

"You can borrow mine if you need to," he said.

"No, I'll just stop by my room and get another before getting breakfast," Toya answered. "I do appreciate your gentlemanly conduct in offering though."

"Don't count on getting such behavior often," Hiei warned him.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Hiei was bewildered. This was the same Toya he had captured in his arms the night before, yet he was somehow very different. He was… Toya was happy. Hiei had thought he had seen the man happy before; he now realized he was wrong.

"You coming?" Toya asked, unaware that his mood had shifted so dramatically.

"In a moment," Hiei answered. "Once I finish enjoying the view." Toya did however detect a difference in Hiei. There was something calmer in Hiei's demeanor. His aura was far more peaceful; a calm ocean rather than a tossing sea.

While neither man could sense the change in themselves, they both knew that their partner was happy, something neither man had been in a long time.

"The view?" Toya asked.

Hiei didn't dignify the question with a verbal response, simple gestured vaguely to Toya's half-naked figure standing by the door. He was pleased to see a half-flattered, half-embarrassed look cross Toya's face. Except that the look wasn't really there. The features of Toya's face remained physically inscrutable, but Hiei could sense which muscles tensed in preparation for the emotion. Never before had he been so in tune with someone. His heart wondered at the strength of their new bond.

Toya looked at him curiously. "Are you quite finished?"

Hiei nodded. "For now."

He pulled himself from the bed, and Toya watched as what seemed to be a god dressed himself. Toya then held out his right hand, which Hiei took in his left. Each demon felt the shoot of pain through the other man's hand as acutely as he felt it through his own. And at that pain, Toya saw Hiei smile—truly smile—for the first time. It was neither a malicious grin, nor a condescending smirk, nor the smile he sometimes reserved for calming someone down. It wasn't even the small smile Hiei saved for his sister alone, not that Toya had ever seen that one. It was a real smile, bright and glorious. "Bandages?" was all Hiei said, but nothing more was needed. Toya smiled in return.

Hiei hovered on the edge of Toya's consciousness the entire day. Toya knew that his awareness of Hiei's presence had less to do with their vow than with the fact that Hiei was not entirely masking his energy. He also heard the whisperings of the others that indicated they too knew of Hiei's presence. But he knew in his heart he was the only one who could sense the complete peace that enveloped Hiei.

The others saw Toya's bandaged hand and immediately asked what had happened. "Oh, I cut myself," Toya answered, the truth of the statement coming easily.

The others frowned, wondering what he could possibly have cut himself with when he hadn't left the room all night. Unless it hadn't been an accident. Suzuki's first thoughts had been confided in Jin before they were really thought through. "Is he cutting himself? Is he depressed?"

Jin frowned but shook his head. "Why would he cut his hand rather than wrists? And why would he suddenly be so genuinely happy?"

Remembering Hiei's threat, knowing Hiei had spent the night in the same room as their friend, suspecting the injury was intentional rather than accidental, seeing how blissful Toya seemed to be, it occurred to both men that Toya and Hiei may have shared something most demons never had the guts to do. "A blood oath?" The words were spoken by Suzuki, quietly as he and Jin ate lunch away from the others. He shook his head. "But why would Toya…? What about Kurama?"

Jin shook his head. "But what else makes sense? Nothin' I can think of a' th' moment."

"So suddenly?" Suzuki asked. "Toya isn't stupid. Neither is Hiei. They both know what that would mean. Not even the most foolish of demons makes that choice easily. And if they would, their partner would not, rendering the bond impossible."

Then Hiei said from behind and above them, "Perhaps it wasn't so suddenly as you think."

Jin and Suzuki started; they had been so absorbed in their conversation that they had not heard or felt Hiei's approach. Hiei dropped from the tree and said, "I need your help."

Jin and Suzuki stared. "Wit' what?" Jin finally asked.

"When Kurama returns, he will likely be angry. Very angry," Hiei said. "I need your help protecting Toya from him."

"Was it real then?" Suzuki asked carefully.

"Very." Hiei unraveled the strip of cloth around his hand to reveal the slash on his palm. "There is no going back, nor do we wish to."

"Are you sure Toya doesn't wish to go back?" Suzuki asked, once again wary of angering the powerful demon.

"Yes." Hiei's answer was sure. Seeing the stunned yet skeptical looks on their faces, he added, "It is not something I can describe. Perhaps if you are lucky, you will one day find the one who is meant to be your mate. The one who is meant to be your life partner."

Jin and Suzuki immediately honed in on the key words. "Meant t' be?" Jin asked.

"The connection is there before the oath is taken. When you find the person, you will know. There is no sense in waiting because _you will know_." Hiei didn't hesitate before doing something he had never done before: give advice to someone who was not either a friend or an employer. "Do not throw away that vow. You will regret it if you do."

In a flash he was gone, but he left knowing that they would help him if the need arose. They had seen the change in Hiei, saw the power of the bond, and they could not deny that after one night with Hiei Toya was happier than he had been in all the months he had been with Kurama. They also suspected that there was a force at work stronger than any of them could imagine. That force, call it god, call it fate, call it what you will, had paired Toya and Hiei. There was no way they could have been happy in a relationship with anyone else, not knowing who they were meant to be with.

Jin and Suzuki could only hope Kurama would see it that way.

* * *

><p>Kurama bid Yusuke farewell, hoping that the week he had spent with Yusuke, along with the week of travel either way, would be enough for Toya. He wanted things to work.<p>

As he left, however, Yusuke gave him some advice that would weigh heavy on his heart all the way home. "Kurama… I'm not entirely sure I really understand the blood oath thing you talked about, but it sounded like a pretty big deal. If you have any doubts at all, about his feelings or yours… don't do it."

Kurama merely frowned and nodded, aware that Yusuke was actually being far more logical in this than he was.

When he arrived home six days later it was to find a very happy Toya, not that he seemed much different on the surface. He was simply less tense. Relieved almost. Kurama was also confronted with the disturbing presence of a troublesome fire demon.

Kurama simply began his instruction as though nothing was different, but he could feel the stares of Toya and Hiei, not to mention Suzuki and Jin. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what they evidently knew.

It was at lunch that he saw the first evidence of how completely he had lost Toya. As Toya reached for his glass, Kurama caught sight of the almost healed, scabbed over wound on his palm. Kurama grabbed the other man's hand and examined it. "What happened?" he asked, releasing the hand after a few seconds.

"I cut myself." That truthful answer again, so easily interpreted as there having been an accident.

"Why didn't you heal it?" Kurama asked.

"I saw no need. It's healing quite nicely on its own."

"But the scar?"

Toya simply shrugged. Secretly, both he and Hiei wanted the scar on the palms of their hands, the single visible reminder of the promise they had made.

It wasn't until later that night that Kurama was truly faced with what he had known from the moment Hiei had put the sword to his throat that day in the apartment. "Come home with me tonight?" Kurama asked Toya quietly in the dim glow of the porch light. Toya shook his head. "I've missed you," Kurama said, leaning in for a kiss. Toya turned his face away quickly but still said nothing. "Toya, what's wrong?"

"I can't." The words were quiet and Toya refused to look at Kurama.

"What do you mean?" Kurama asked. In his mind he already knew, but his heart was screaming that it was a joke, an illusion, a lie, anything. Anything but that.

"I can't," Toya repeated, working up the nerve to look Kurama in the eye. He owed the fox that much.

"Why?"

Toya put his hand forward, once again revealing the evidence of his first night with Hiei. Kurama was intelligent. At the same moment, Hiei dropped from the roof, his hand on the sword at his side in an unmistakably defensive posture. And that was all the proof Kurama needed.

"Why?" Kurama asked. His heart was falling to pieces inside his chest. Breaking wasn't the right word, nor was shattering. Those implied much more violent actions. He felt as though his heart were slipping silently into separate pieces, as a square of fabric after too much wear and too many moths. The threads holding his heart together were simply growing looser and looser allowing the separate parts to grow distant and fall silently to other unreachable places.

Toya closed his eyes at the pain he was causing. "I'm sorry."

And suddenly Kurama saw the truth. Toya had never been able to commit himself to Kurama because a part of him—perhaps the most important part—had already been committed to Hiei. He felt betrayed. The man he loved—the man who had claimed to love him—and his best friend.

And this revelation made him angry and more irrational than either Toya or Hiei had ever seen him. "Why?" he snapped at Toya. "Why did you ever say you loved me?" When Toya offered no excuse, when Kurama saw him looking so completely apologetic, he turned his anger on Hiei. "And you. You were supposed to be my _friend_. Is this how you treat all your friends? Stealing their happiness, taking it for yourself?"

Hiei regretted hurting Kurama, but he wasn't nearly so willing to take the verbal abuse as Toya. Instead he snapped right back, "Would I swear an oath in blood just to steal the happiness of the man I considered my best friend—would still consider my best friend if not for this infernal connection I couldn't suppress? It's not as though I _wanted_ to hurt you, fox."

"Don't call me that," Kurama growled angrily, even as the word became more true, the anger transforming him.

"Very well, Kurama. I didn't want to hurt you. That was not my intention. But I could not let Toya be taken away from me."

"Taken away from _you_?" Kurama demanded, his voice nearly a shout. "Taken away from you? As though you had him and I was encroaching on _your_ territory?"

The rest of their group watched from a distance as Hiei retorted nearly as loudly, "Were you the one he was drawn to from that first day in that thing they called a fair Tournament? Were you the one attracted to him before you even laid eyes on him? Were you the one he yearned for over the course of more than a year, in spite of the fact that he had only met you a few times? Did your heart ache for something it had never known it was missing, but that was somehow filled the moment you saw him again? I think _not_." Hiei knew his words were harsh, but Kurama had to hear the truth. If he didn't, the fox would likely hurt Toya, himself and who knew how many others in the vicinity. It was a rare day when it was Hiei trying to force Kurama to see reason.

But at the moment Kurama didn't particularly want to see reason. A plant lashed out at Hiei, only to wrap around the suddenly raised sword instead of the fire demon's head. One downward swing and the plant fell to pieces on the ground.

The plants continued coming, Hiei continued parrying and dodging. A few of the sharp needles reached his arms, slicing at his skin, but he managed to avoid all the truly dangerous attacks. Toya moved to step in but Hiei shouted, "No. Stay out of this. I don't want you hurt." At the same moment, his sword swept forward, leaving a single scratch along Kurama's cheek.

Kurama froze, allowing the plants to fall limp to the ground. Then he simply shook his head in disgust. "Damn you," he spit at Hiei. "Damn you all. I would gladly pay all I ever stole in order to watch you burn in hell."

He turned and stalked away, vanishing down the steps of the temple in a swish of silver hair and creamy white fabric. Toya watched after him a moment then asked Hiei, "Did you need to be so cruel? What do you have to be angry at him for?" The emotions he was getting from Hiei were also confusing; the anger seemed to be real, but it didn't seem to be directed at Kurama.

"I wasn't angry. At least not at him." Hiei replied honestly, his voice entirely calm. Toya looked at him questioningly, knowing he wasn't lying but not knowing how that could be the truth. "I was angry with us for causing him that kind of pain," Hiei said. Only to Toya could he admit how much he cared for the fox. Toya waited for the rest of the explanation. Hiei sighed and said, "You may have been his lover for a time, but I am—was," he corrected himself, "I was his best friend for nearly four years. Few people know Kurama as well as I do. He was angry, and he needed an outlet for that rage. If I had not provided a place for him to direct that wrath, he would have gone into self-destruct mode, likely taking us all down with him."

Toya took a deep breath then said, "Thank you, Hiei, for doing this. I don't know if I could have done the same if I had even known what it was Kurama needed."

Hiei nodded, understanding Toya's feelings. Hiei's jealousy at the relationship Toya had had with Kurama had vanished the moment the ice had cut into Toya's flesh. The fact that Toya was so ready to make that commitment with him was enough to make up for anything he might have done before. And the fact that Toya still cared for the fox didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. Hiei too cared for Kurama. He only hoped that the damage to Kurama's heart was not irreparable. The damage to their friendship might be, but Hiei could live with that, so long as Kurama did not mourn for the rest of his days.

* * *

><p>Even as he stormed down the temple steps Kurama could feel his anger evaporating. Left in its place was an emptiness that seemed to surround him. There was nothing he could do. Toya was lost forever.<p>

He returned to the apartment he had shared with Toya for a few precious months. He tread slowly down the hall to the room Toya had been given. There was nothing personal in it. Not one single thing. With no one else present, Kurama did not even try to hide the hurt on his face. Instead he allowed the pain to thoroughly distort his face as he lay down on Toya's bed, curling into a ball and wrapping his tail around himself. A few tears trickled silently down the fox's pale cheeks as golden orbs stared blankly at the wall before him.


	7. Part Six

The others began to worry when Kurama didn't show up for training. He always made a point of being there, at least for an hour or two. But he was gone the day after the altercation. And the day after. And the day after. When it hit a week, the group was so worried that Shishiwakamaru was the only one who could concentrate on his training.

Genkai sighed to herself, then said, "I'm going to go talk to him. You will all stay here and try to focus."

No one dared disobey her, the fire in her voice more threatening than Hiei's sword would have been.

When she knocked on Kurama's door, no one answered. After knocking again, she said gently, "I know you're home, Kurama."

The door swung open slowly, revealing an entirely disheveled redhead. Genkai frowned, then decided Kurama's depression was natural. Best to just help him get through it. "Master Genkai," he said politely. "Something you need?"

She shook her head. "I just wished to verify that you're still alive."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kurama asked. He just wanted to go back to bed. He didn't want to be talking to this old woman who couldn't possibly know how he felt.

"Depression after such a loss is natural, Kurama," Genkai replied, walking toward the kitchen. She took down a teakettle and began heating some water.

"You've been alone your entire life," Kurama replied, not mentioning that Genkai was relatively young in comparison to him. "How would you know about such a loss?"

Genkai smiled sadly; she had long since come to terms with her own loss. "I have not been alone my entire life, Kurama. I lost the one I loved to his own guilt and self-hatred. I will not pretend to know exactly how you are feeling, but I do know how it feels to lose someone who you feel you should have had for much longer." Kurama stared, and Genkai admitted, "I lost Toguro, Kurama."

Kurama suddenly collapsed on his couch, face in his hands. None of it really mattered. He was alone and Toya was gone forever. And he didn't even have his best friend to turn to. A few minutes later Genkai placed a cup of tea in front of him. "Some things cannot be avoided, Kurama. Some feelings are there before we look for them. Hiei and Toya could not have been happy without each other." She knew it was not what Kurama wanted to hear, but it needed to be said.

"What would you know?" Kurama snapped, his anger returning. "You're not a demon. If Toya had been willing to take the blood oath with me, it would have been me he needed."

Genkai shook her head. "No, Kurama. We both know that's a lie. The blood oath fascinated me, and I have done extensive research on it. It binds the emotions of two, it does not change them. You both would have been miserable if Toya had agreed. You would have immediately seen he loved someone else. And if he ever was foolish enough to go to that person, your pain at the happiness he found in their arms would have been a torture to him as well."

Kurama stood, his anger back full force. "That's what _research_ says? Well research can be wrong. Get out."

Genkai nodded. "Just think on what I said, Kurama."

The moment she was gone, the redheaded fox demon fell back onto the couch and cried.

* * *

><p>While Genkai was gone, Hiei dropped from the roof of the temple and pulled Toya aside. "I need to go," he whispered. He frowned at the look of pain on Toya's face, realizing that this was the response he had been expecting of Toya when Kurama had announced he was leaving. It hurt Hiei to think of it as well, but there were things that had to be done. Mukuro had to be dealt with. But seeing the look of pain on his mate's face, he did the last thing he had ever thought he would do. He pulled his teardrop gem from around his neck and placed it on Toya's. "It was a gift from my mother," Hiei explained quietly. "It brings peace. Just don't be surprised if Yukina misinterprets its meaning." Hiei sighed and finally let his hands drop away from the cord holding the gem. "I value only two things more than that gem."<p>

"What two things?"

"My sister and you." It sounded more like an embarrassed confession than a declaration of love, but then Hiei was gone. Toya stood for a moment holding the jewel in the tips of his fingers. And Hiei was right. There was peace, even as he felt his heart flying through the treetops towards Makai.

* * *

><p>The next day Kurama managed to drag himself out of bed, shower, brush his hair, brush his teeth, get dressed, look presentable. And then he called Koenma using the tracking device he had never given back.<p>

When Koenma appeared minutes later, Kurama immediately asked, "Is there any way to reverse a blood oath?"

"What?" Koenma asked, startled by Kurama's choice of subject.

"Can an oath in blood be reversed?" Kurama repeated calmly. "I do not care what it takes."

Koenma just shook his head, surprised that Kurama had made such a decision without thinking every possible consequence through first. "No, Kurama. It cannot be undone."

"Why not?" Kurama demanded.

"Love is quite possibly the strongest force in existence," Koenma answered, not sure where the conversation was headed. "And you know the old saying, blood is thicker than water. Combining those two… that is likely the strongest bond anyone could ever make. Not even the process by which I returned Yusuke to life could compare."

"But there must be _something_ you can do," Kurama said, trying to bargain with the ruler of the spirit world. "I don't care what it is; I'll do anything to get it reversed."

"I'm sorry, Kurama," Koenma replied, meaning the words. "What's done is done." And he was gone.

And that's when Kurama realized what was happening, the reasons for his sudden mood swings. He was grieving. He mentally listed off the steps in his mind. He had begun the grieving process the moment he had started seeing Toya, with his denial of the feelings he knew Toya really had. He had seen the truth, laid out irrefutably before him, and he had gotten angry, nearly hurting his best friend. He had spent days alone in his house, unwilling to talk to anyone or even do anything, as depressed as he was. He had just tried to make a deal with the ruler of the Underworld to find some way to reverse the bond Hiei and Toya had formed.

Denial, check. Anger, check. Bargaining, check. Depression, check. According to Kübler-Ross, all that remained was acceptance. He just hoped it would come soon.

* * *

><p>Hiei stood unashamed before an irate Mukuro. "You think you can just <em>leave<em>?" she demanded. "You think there won't be punishment for such behavior?"

Hiei looked at her. "No punishment could compare to the pain I was averting in my absence."

Mukuro glared, walked across the room and analyzed every inch of Hiei's face. "You are telling the truth."

"I have no reason to lie."

"Other than the fact that you _always_ lie." Mukuro decided to take pity on him at that moment. If he had left to avoid something more painful than the punishments he knew she was capable of serving, she felt he was justified in leaving; she was not as heartless as everyone believed. She leaned in closer. "Tell me, Hiei. What were you doing?" He stared at her his eyes cold. But before she could kiss him, she noticed. "Your gem is missing, yet your sister's is not."

Hiei nodded coldly. He forced his hand up between them, causing Mukuro to step back. She saw the scar forming on his hand. He then said, "Sometimes your most treasured possession can be given up more easily than you would have imagined, simply because it will make someone else happy."

He turned and walked toward the door without being dismissed. Mukuro was not stupid; she knew the meaning of Hiei's words, his rejection of her approaches only moments ago, the significance of the wound on his palm. But she was still determined. "Hiei, I do not care what kind of bond you have formed with that fox. I expect you either to resign or be capable of killing him in battle."

Hiei paused at the door and turned back to her, a sad yet somehow wicked grin on his face, as though he was incredibly pleased to know something she did not. "My lady, while I would find killing Kurama a regrettable action, such are the spoils of war."

He vanished, leaving Mukuro confused. Was what Hiei meant by the injury not what she thought? Or was the bond that easily broken? Or was it not Kurama who was Hiei's lover? "Oh screw it," she muttered. "I'll keep him around as long as he's doing his job."

* * *

><p>And in spite of the situation, the universe seemed to be smiling on Kurama. Yomi had called him to a meeting. He didn't feel like seeing the other man, but something pulled him toward the castle in Makai. And when he arrived in the room with the others, his eyes fell on a new face. It was a young man with blue eyes, sharp teeth and pointed, charcoal grey ears perched on his head.<p>

Kurama said nothing to the new member of the committee, and the other man said nothing to him. But they watched each other. Kurama spoke only when asked a direct question, observing the other man the entire meeting.

"…our newest troops, correct, General?" Yomi asked. The man did not respond. "General Tsubasa?"

So his name was Tsubasa. "What?" the man asked suddenly, ripping his eyes away from the light sketch he had been making of Kurama. He carefully hid it with his arm.

"Our newest troops, General," Yomi repeated calmly. "They are progressing quickly, are they not?"

"Yes, sir. Faster than expected. Some of the techniques Lord Kurama has revealed from his training program have been applied to the regular army, and they are working wonders." General Tsubasa spoke quickly, not looking at anyone, his face coloring when he mentioned Kurama's name.

"Thank you," Yomi said quietly. "That is all. Any comments or concerns? No? Well, you're all dismissed then."

"General Tsubasa, a word alone, if you will," Kurama requested as everyone emptied out the room. Yomi raised an eyebrow in Kurama's direction, but Kurama refused to dignify it with any kind of response.

The general hesitated, coloring beautifully. He looked to Yomi for permission. Yomi told him, "If I have not expressly told you not to do something, I suggest you follow his orders. He is, after all, my second-in-command." The door snapped shut behind their blind leader, leaving Kurama alone with Tsubasa.

"Lord Kurama," Tsubasa said. "I'm sorry I did not request your permission to use your techniques, I simply thought that, for the greater good of the army…" He trailed off at the look of amusement on Kurama's face.

The young general before him had caught Kurama's interest immediately and entirely. He couldn't help but suspect that he knew what Hiei and Genkai had been speaking of when they said there was a bond already there. Perhaps he should not have been mad at Toya and Hiei. It would appear that they had saved him a lot of regret by going behind his back. There was something about the young general standing nervously in front of him that intrigued him more than Toya ever had. "Tsubasa," he said, opting not to use the man's title. "Let me have a look at this portrait you were drawing."

The red of Tsubasa's face deepened. "But sir… I…" He gave up and handed the man the paper. Kurama stared at it a long time, waiting for the younger demon to speak. "I'm sorry, Lord Kurama, I just found that I was distracted. It won't happen again, sir."

"Kurama," Kurama corrected, standing.

"What, sir?" Tsubasa was thrown off by Kurama's response.

"Kurama. Not 'sir.' Not 'lord.' Just Kurama." Kurama reached forward, patted the general's cheek, and then he was gone. The demon stood there, not knowing what to think of what had just happened.

Kurama on the other hand was filled with relief. He had found his acceptance. Toya may have been lost, but it was not the end of the world. And in the boy who remained frozen in the meeting room, Kurama had found the hope that the threadbare pieces of his heart could be darned, mended, stitched back together.

* * *

><p>So, a final author's note: any reviews criticizing my portrayal of Kurama's intelligence will be ignored. Also, Kurama was really going through the five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model (as presented by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in <em>On Death and Dying<em>). And you know what, I like it. Sooo… if you don't, that is, in all honesty, fine with me.

Well, please review, I hope it was worth your time.

KG64 and Kiyoshi


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